Genesis ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now Onto A Better Outlook Yikes, another entry all within an hours time. My head is feeling much better, I can go 8 hours or more without pain medication. We must be going to have one heck of a storm front moving in. This week we ran out of oil. Holy cow, that has never happened before! But then that use to be one of those things I'd take note of daily during the winter months, before paxil. I had Tim call and when the Oil man came I was talking to him about it. He said that they have been working 6 days a week, 24 hours a day since November. All the years we have lived here, we would get it topped off in November and then in April. The most we ever spent on heating oil was $225.oo for the year. I dread thinking what this bill is going to be. Dawn said they pay over $500.oo a month to heat their home! And remember how I said how cold it is there? Last night I sat down and paid all the bills. While I was writing out the checks I couldn't help but think how futile it was too be doing that. I mean, geez, it seems as if the world is going to come to an end as we know it now. Yesterday I wanted to get a jump start on purchasing groceries for the house (regular time usuage) and made Tim come with me as soon as he got home from work. When we were done loading up the car, I told Tim that the current state of affairs is quite compatible to my fatalistic disposition. That now that I have done all that is possible to ensure the saftey of my family (not that it will be of much use) that I'm ready for the unknown and more than willing to volunteer myself out to do what ever is needed. I now know the feeling that people experienced right after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the need to make some sort of sense out of chaos in which we were tossed into. I am prepared and now it's time for me to shelve my fears on that which I have no control over. I want once again for humor and love to be my main priority. 8:39 a.m. - 2003-02-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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