Genesis

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Thanks Jade

I've been reading this woman's diary ever since I joined Diaryland.

I love the fact that she 'reads' to me every Sunday..her Monday.

I'd love to go to New Zealand and meet her in person!

Anyways, I know she won't mind, I have copied her weekly read.

10 bowel problems

I missed a couple of weeks - my apologies. Yes, it's another Monday, which means another installment from The Little Book of Bad Taste by Karl Shaw.

1. King Edmund Ironside: reign curtailed when an assassin thrust his longsword up the Saxon king's fundament.

2. King Edward II: assassinated by having a red-hot poker thrust up his rectum.

3. Samuel Pepys: "Wind doth now and then torment me about the fundament extremely."

4. King Louis XIV: flatulence. It was said that he conveyed his admiration for his sister-in-law the Duchess of Orleans by doing her the honor of farting loudly in her presence.

5. Martin Luther: suffered from chronic constipation.

6. King Ferdinand I of Naples: constipation. The daily bowel movements of the eighteenth-century monarch were an utterly serious business: he always insisted on having a crowd of people around to keep him entertained while he strained. His father-in-law, the Austrian Emperor Joseph, was one of the many who became privy to these unusual audiences, and noted later, "We made conversation for more than half an hour, and I believe he would still be there if a terrible stench had not convinced us that all was over." Ferdinand evidently also offered to show his father-in-law the fruit of his labors for closer inspection.

7. French Emperor Louis Napoleon III of France: suffered from a variety of ailments, including dysentery, gonorrhoea and a huge bladder stone. He commanded his troops at the Battle of Sedan in 1870 with towels stuffed inside his breaches to act as king-size nappies.

8. Queen Victoria: she ate too quickly, mixed malt whiskey with claret, and was a martyr to persistent flatulence.

9. Adolf Hitler: flatulence. His personal doctor Theodore Morrell gave him "anti-gas" medication to allay the F�hrer's embarrassment.

10. Elvis Presley: became addicted to Freenamint chewing gum whilst attempting to overcome his severe constipation.

You can also check Jade's blog out. Its so informative on an enjoyable level.

11:50 a.m. - 2004-02-01

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